Gentle parenting - Myths and facts. Simple ways to understand the gentle parenting concept

Introduction

Are you a parent who often hears "Gentle parenting" and gets confused about understanding the topic? Is it giving you anxiety? Gentle Parenting is one of the current popular topics and discussions among parents in our present generation. We can call it parenting by different names: gentle Parenting, happy Parenting, peaceful Parenting, connected Parenting, positive Parenting, and mindful Parenting. All these different versions try to convey only one concept: have a healthy relationship with our children for their overall growth and brain development.

Parenting and Brain Development

We are all aware that our brain is the critical organ in our body, and it plays a significant role in whatever actions we do in our day-to-day lives. The brain starts to develop when the child is in the mother's womb and grows over the years. Brain development happens for several years, and it takes a reasonable amount of time to have a mature brain. This is one of the biggest reasons for kids' different behaviours, as they act based on their brain development. Gentle/connected Parenting helps the child to have a healthy brain development throughout their life.

Gentle parenting - Myths and facts of gentle parenting

Let us understand some facts and myths about gentle Parenting, which will give us a clear idea of the concept.

Gentle parenting Myths Vs. Facts

We all had one common idea (including myself) when I heard about gentle Parenting: Parents who follow peaceful Parenting never get stressed out, and their child behaves properly and won't throw a tantrum at all. Well!! It is not true. Gentle Parenting is not about kids never throw tantrums and listen to their parents; it's about the parents trying to calm themselves down and handle the crying child without passing on their emotional breakdown to the child. Let's decode the phrase: it's GENTLE PARENTING and not GENTLE KIDS, where parents are gentle with themselves and the child.

This post is mainly for parents,

  • Who wants to start peaceful Parenting but is hesitant to do it for various reasons.
  • Who looks at other parents and has so many doubts?
  • Who needs clarification about the result of peaceful Parenting?
  • Who judge gentle parents by having a different perspective in their mind.
  • And for all parents who love to enjoy the essence of gentle Parenting.

Here it is for you.

Gentle parenting - Myths and facts of gentle parenting

What Gentle Parenting Really Means When Your Child Has a Tantrum

Doesn't mean

Their child never throws a tantrum or cries and stays calm all the time without having an emotional breakdown. A big No!!!!!

Does mean,

Whenever the child throws a tantrum, gentle parents try to stay calm without shouting or hurting the child. It stresses the parents without any doubt, and they get angry, but they take time to calm themselves and go to the child. The parents stay with the child and give them a supportive shoulder to cry and calm down. They acknowledge the child's feelings without any hassle and help them escape the situation without hard feelings. So, it is all about the parent who stays calm and handles the situation gently, not the child. Crying and showing tantrums are child's behaviors, and every child goes through them.

Gentle parenting - Myths and facts of gentle parenting

Does Gentle Parenting Mean Your Child Always Listens? Here's the Truth

Doesn't mean

The child listens to their parent's words and stops doing any unwanted things at the first attempt.

Does mean

The parent stays calm, goes to the child's eye level, and conveys anything gently until the child understands; sometimes, they fail, too. Children can't always listen to and follow our words; there is sometimes no exception for kids under gentle Parenting. They, too, can't hear and react the first time, but the gentle parents try their best to convey it positively and go through the child's perspective.

How Gentle Parenting Works When Your Child Misbehaves in Public

Doesn't mean

The child behaves well in public by understanding the surroundings. Never !!!! Until a certain age.

Does mean

A child is a child irrespective of being under any parenting technique. They behave however they want to, according to their brain development and age. It is the parent's responsibility to handle the child gently and positively. The parent needs to understand the child's behaviour and calm the child to behave appropriately. I agree this is one of the most stressful scenarios for any parent. My best advice is not to take anything to heart and feel embarrassed. Let it be, accept and handle

Why Gentle Parents Repeat Instructions — And Why That's Completely Normal

Doesn't mean

The child remembers everything the parents told them before and follows it constantly. NO!!! No child can recognise and follow everything all the time.

Does mean

Parents need to remind the child gently and positively instead of shouting constantly. Because the developing brain takes its own time to recollect and act.

Gentle parenting - Myths and facts of gentle parenting

What Gentle Parenting Actually Prepares Your Child For in the Long Run

Doesn't mean

The child will be a superhuman with no emotional breakdown in their life.

Does mean,

Gentle parents try to keep the present life guilt-free and stress-free. They want to raise an emotionally intelligent person who can handle themselves whenever they need to in the future. But, no one can predict the future. Gentle Parenting always focuses on the current moment to have a connection with the child rather than the future expectation.

Top 10 perspectives of gentle Parenting

  • Gentle Parenting is all about disciplining the child in a guided, positive manner rather than following any punishments on difficult moments. So, there are chances the child can learn things soon (there is no time or age limit as every child is different)
  • Gentle Parenting is all about having a healthy connection with the child to feel safe and secure with the adult.
  • Gentle Parenting is all about not feeling guilty about ourselves as we refrain from shouting most of the time.
  • Gentle Parenting is all about understanding and working on our emotions before teaching and changing the child.
  • Gentle parents can't always be so peaceful and calm as they are also humans. They tend to lose their temper, but soon, they return to their senses and handle the situation.
  • Gentle Parenting is not only for calm people. Anyone can practice peaceful Parenting if they are ready to change themselves through consistent practice.
  • Gentle Parenting is not about the child who behaves perfectly, is disciplined, never throws tantrums, etc. It is the parents who can calm down themselves without reacting suddenly and gently handle the child by understanding their basic physical and emotional needs.
  • Gentle Parenting does not blame our elders' perspective on Parenting. Their lifestyle is entirely different, and they raised all of us well with the exposure they had at that time. But the world is changing and developing a lot. Our kids need more emotional support to face this world. They need a supportive shoulder whenever they break down, and that is us who can make them feel safe with our parenting method.
  • Gentle Parenting focuses on respecting the child's feelings, emotions, and opinions and being empathetic.
  • Gentle parents relate a child's behaviour to their age and brain development. They understand the child from the child's perspective and not from the adult's view.
Gentle parenting - Myths and facts of gentle parenting

The most common question that comes to many parents about gentle Parenting is, "So if the child is going to behave as it is (crying, throwing tantrums in public, etc.), then what's the purpose of gentle Parenting?

Well!!! The best answer is, "Parenting starts within ourselves; if we follow gentle Parenting, we can have blissful and calm moments in our Parenting by avoiding yelling, shouting, screaming all the time. If we avoid shouting, then we can have peaceful moments in our life" and we get a chance to think better to handle the child.. So, gentle Parenting is mainly for parents to have a calm life, and the child can calmly learn everything.

Summary

Gentle Parenting is a lifelong, mindful journey. So, if you lose your patience and find it hard, take a deep breath and resume it instead of staying back. We are humans, and we may lose our temper for various reasons, and it is ok!!!! But try not to repeat it very often. Any name can be called mindful Parenting, gentle Parenting, or connected Parenting. If we follow it, our parenting life will be blissful and soulful.

Thanks for reading. If you like my content, please comment below and share it with your friends.

Read more

  • I am a certified parenting coach who takes sessions for parents on emotional management and helps them practice gentle parenting in everyday life. Please CLICK HERE to connect with me.
  • Please CLICK HERE to view different indoor kid's activities to engage the child at home.
  • Please CLICK HERE to purchase "Lord Murugan story book" from my blog.